Naming Woes

In regards to an article about the 10 worst car names of all time.

10. The entire Lincoln lineup
I can't agree more. When you say "Mark" something, that something ought to be a number because it's typically used to denote the generation number. For instance, I have a Canon EOS 5D Mark II. The camera I currently want is the Canon EOS-1D Mark IV. Jaguar made cars like the Mark IV, Mark V, etc. MKS, MKX, MKZ don't make any sense.

9. Hyundai Equus
The article mentions something about Harry Pothead, but I couldn't really care less. What bothers me more is that the front of the car, like the Genesis, looks exactly like the W221 Mercedes-Benz S-Class.

8. Toyota Yaris
I'm not entirely sure why it's called the Yaris. In Japan the hatchback is called the Vitz and the sedan is called the Belta.

7. Kia Forte Koup
I've never even heard of this car, but the front end sure looks like a carbon copy of the Honda Civic. It also makes me cringe when Americans say "coupe" without the accent aigu over the "e." Apparently Koreans do this too? Why don't they just call it the Fort Coop?

6. Subaru B9 Tribeca
Like the author of the article, I'm not sure why it needs to be called both B9 and Tribeca. Subaru calls the Legacy sedan the B4, but I always thought that was some kind of differentiation between it and the estate car.

5. Volkswagen Touareg
Come on people, it's not that difficult.

4. Ford Probe
Uh, yeah, no.

3. Subaru Brat
Come on Subaru...

2. Isuzu VehiCROSS
The name is not as bad as the car itself.

1. Ford Aspire
The result of crushed aspirations.

I think they could have done better though. Things like "Daewoo Nubira" sound like something directly out of Star Wars. It could be a blue, three-headed slimy creature that makes unintelligible noises. Other names that come to mind include the Plymouth Reliant, Austin Princess, Austin Freeway, Toyota Succeed, Mitsubishi Starion, Mitsubishi Toppo BJ, Kia Cee'd, and so on...

However, no "bad car name" list is complete without the Mazda Bongo Friendee.