74W

CA-74, or Ortega Highway, as it's called, is a bit of a mediocre road. It may be one of the more twisty roads in Orange County, but that's not saying much, and because it's slightly twisty it's always clogged up with motorcyclists on the weekends. On weekdays it's full of commuters instead. Overall, it's not very challenging, crowded, and only mildly scenic.

Mind you, there are far worse roads. Freeways, for instance. Or some local roads in and near Laguna Woods.

Anyway, about Ortega Highway. Driving eastbound from Orange County to Lake Elsinore in the late afternoon is a bit of a nuisance because studies have shown that you will most definitely become stuck behind a Hyundai Accent driving at eighteen miles per hour. Ortega offers little opportunity for overtaking, so if you're stuck, you'd better get used to it.

Driving westbound after dark, however, is another story. Because no one that lives in Orange County goes to work in Lake Elsinore, you will not be hindered by slow cars that refuse to pull off and let you by. "Excellent," you say. But you'd be wrong. It's bloody terrifying.

The Hyundai Accidents heading east have now slowed to twelve miles an hour, because it's gone dark. This obviously causes an enormous queue to form in its wake, and herein lies the problem. It seems half the cars heading this way have their high beams on, therefore burning a hole in my retina. I can't see the road while they stream by, and once they're gone, I still can't see the road because I've lost my eyesight.

Just enough time goes by for my eyes to adjust to the darkness, before the next group of held-up motorists come trudging along with their high beams and fog lights. Turn them OFF.

Combine this with flip-flop sandals that are not entirely suited for left-foot braking or, indeed, braking at all, and you have a harrowing experience that even Bruce Willis would be reluctant to face.

In the Sacramento Valley, where everyone feels the need to be constantly using high beams, driving at night is very annoying but at least there's nothing to crash into, or cliffs from which to fall. Besides, they're only really aggravating when they're behind you and they stay there, constantly blinding you through the rear-view mirror with no opportunity for retribution.

I've driven in fog on the Sonoma coast that was so thick the dotted yellow line was barely visible. Still, I'd much rather drive there than on Ortega, where I just have to sort of guess where the road is based on the stream of brightness coming my way.