Flashy

It's been said many times that the flashiness of a man's car is inversely proportionate to the size of his willy. While I do not believe the statement to be true-- confidence in oneself is measured by many factors, nor have I empirically verified (nor do I want to empirically verify)--the car above (and many of the pickup trucks in America that have been raised 14 feet off the ground) do make me wonder.

The car in question here is the Porsche 911 GT3 RS. I have no doubt that as a car, it is most extraordinary. I also think it would look great in black, silver, or white. You really have to wonder what thoughts go through someone's head before he (and it's invariably a "he") decides on that color scheme seen in the picture.

Of course, there may be the problem that Porsche only offers a minuscule selection of color options. The GT3 RS line in particular usually only has two options, and always with "GT3 RS" written in very large letters.

For a company from such a logically driven country, this doesn't make much sense. I don't need to advertise what sort of Porsche I've bought by having the model designation prominently printed on it. Those that have an interest will know when they see that body kit and huge rear spoiler. Those that do not have an interest will not care either way, so it's irrelevant.

Going back to how only men will buy this car: this is an unfortunate fact of life, that women do not buy such cars. It is unfortunate because it is an equally important fact of life that driving a hardcore car instantly makes a woman more attractive in a way that no dietary fad ever can.

A man driving a Subaru Impreza WRX STi? Immature, trying too hard, a bit of a cock. A woman driving the same car? Please marry me ASAP.

There are a few reservations to this rule. Choosing a Legacy B4 GT over an Impreza automatically make someone appear more sophisticated, and this applies to either sex.

The other automobile-related factor that makes a woman more attractive is having an old car. For instance, the woman in the MGA 1500. If you combine this with the earlier rule, then I couldn't ask for more. That would be the girl in the Mercedes-Benz 190E 2.5-16.

So, all other things being equal, which is more attractive: the girl with the rich dad that's just bought her a shiny new BMW 335i, or the girl with a 1982 Jaguar XJ-S? The one with the Jag, even if not all things are equal, if I'm honest.

I'm beginning to sound patronizing. All of the above is actually moot, because both of the girls would just tell me "no."