Going Postal

Dear man with Bluetooth headset at the the express counter at the post office,
The express line is for people buying stamps or sending one item. Please do not walk up with three items. You can draw a number instead and wait like everyone else. Furthermore, please fill out all addresses and forms before you go to the counter. That's ten minutes of my life that I'll never have back thanks to you, philistine.
Also, to the workers at the post office, if someone comes up to the express line with three items, kindly tell him to bugger off.
Thank you.